I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
