it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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