Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
