Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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