If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
