I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
