I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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