dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
