We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
