In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
