btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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