Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
