Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize