this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
