Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize