Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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