in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
