He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
