You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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