I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
