He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
