New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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