Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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