Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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