ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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