I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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