ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
