Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
