seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
