I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
