Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Come see our sink grown plant.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
