I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
