my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i was born a porn star she said
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize