No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
