His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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