i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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