look no pants
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
