I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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