Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
