I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
