So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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