I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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