Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont even know how to be here
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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