Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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