i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
