we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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