are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
