omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize