Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
