I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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