so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
