If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
