oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize