used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
