Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
