He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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