we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
