remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
