so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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