Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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