Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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