WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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