If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
