Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
