would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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