I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
