Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
