I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
